Day 50: Take me to Hogwarts

Twitter sucks.

I feel like that sentence is perfectly self-explanatory, given my current state. But I suppose I should justify my position for those who swear by that annoying blue bird. I just spent nearly three hours on Twitter, rifling through page after page of completely useless information. Twitter may be bursting with information, but there is so much garbage to wade through! Whoever said literacy was a good thing obviously never thought of the dozens, nay, millions of people who “tweet” about completely mundane topics that nobody cares about.

For example, I do not want to know when someone ate a chicken nugget. I do not care if someone just painted their toes a shade of fluorescent yellow. I couldn’t care less if someone drank a bad glass of milk or if their dog just ran into a wall. And I certainly don’t need to hear about the glorious revelations someone came upon while sitting on the toilet. It’s a disease! People need to stop drowning the public in useless details about their dull lives. We should not be celebrating mediocrity!

Why my sudden attack on Twitter? I have a background file to do for my journalism assignment. It’s basically a way to get us to do some research on our feature topic before actually starting the interview and writing process. It was perfectly understandable that we had to find books and news articles and even organizations pertaining to the topic. But Twitter feeds? Are you insane? Do you know how hard it is to search for “knowledgeable individuals” on Twitter? If you ever feel like there are too many smart people in the world, just go on Twitter. I can’t believe the number of people who are allowed to string words together. It should be illegal.

After almost three hours of searching and scrolling through page after page of irrelevant information, I finally found two vaguely-related accounts. And another thing: retweeting (basically re-posting someone else’s tweet) is horribly annoying. I end up reading the same unrelated tweet over and over again. I think my brain turned into goo.

Believe it or not I was actually in a good mood this morning (before the blue bird of doom came and pooped all over my day). I found out there was a Quidditch game on campus! (That’s the game from Harry Potter where they fly around on broomsticks chucking balls at each other, for those who aren’t Potter fanatics.) I’d heard of a school team before, but I’d never actually seen it for myself!

I had to go take pictures. So I decided it was time for a break from doing homework and ran out to catch a piece of the action. There were three colourful hoops set up on either side of the field and a whole hoard of students running around holding little broomsticks between their legs! It was priceless! There’s the main ball, the quaffle, that’s thrown into the hoops for points, but there’s also supposed to be bludgers, used to pelt the other players as a distraction. In the book, these bludgers kind of whoosh around on their own to add a level of danger, but for us here in the Muggle world, the bludgers were big rubber dodgeballs. Two people on each team (the beaters) get to whip these dodgeballs at people … with utmost seriousness.

The best part was the Golden Snitch. That’s the little gold ball that flies around in the book and the seeker on each team has to catch it. (This was Harry Potter’s position, if you’ll recall.) Well we obviously can’t find a little golden ball that can fly around in our world, so the Golden Snitch is actually a guy dressed in bright yellow with a sock hanging out of the waist of his pants. The seeker from both teams have to run around the entire campus looking for the snitch and ultimately grabbing the sock out of his pants.

Watching a Quidditch game should definitely be on your list of things to do before you die. It’s oddly satisfying to watch a bunch of students (who are going to school for some brilliant education) running around with brooms, especially during midterm season. It should be a national sport.

Now if you’ll excuse me, my eyes are no longer functioning. (Thanks again, blue bird of doom.) Time for sleep. I need to be bright-eyed and bushy-tailed for the fresh hell that awaits me tomorrow. How I long for Christmas!

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2 thoughts on “Day 50: Take me to Hogwarts

  1. Welcome back! It’s about time! You have such a way with words.
    I think there are YouTube videos. There’s even an International Quidditch Association so feel free to knock your Muggle socks off.

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