Day 29: Struck down, but not destroyed

Where do I begin?

Version 1

There’s nothing to report. I went to Chinese class. I went skating. I did homework. I’m going to bed.

Version 2

Mondays aren’t as painful as I thought. I really only have one class, and it doesn’t even start until 9:30 a.m. I get to go skating with my friends and spend the rest of the day looking forward to tap.

I ate a whole bar of dark chocolate today. Life is good.

Version 3

I’m mad at people for talking too much.

Version 4

I’m mad at myself for not talking enough.

Version 5

I’m not angry, just drained. Not tired. Drained. I’ve poured out all emotion and now I just feel like doing something mundane and monotonous, where I can fall into a rhythm and not let my thoughts start to catch up with me. In other words: escape.

That would explain how I watched about a whole season of Friends today when there’s work to be done. It’s just been one of those days.

Version 6

It most certainly is not “one of those days” because if there had been a day like this, I would have remembered. I feel like everything just hit a deeper chord in me somewhere and the aftershocks are still making their way up into consciousness.

The truth: I feel closer to God today.

Well if that didn’t make me sound insane, nothing will. I think I’ll be calling this Alternative Blog Day. If it’s all over the place, good. That’s how I’m feeling today. It has been a day filled with highs and lows in their extremes and I’m afraid I’m still recovering from the lows.

It was possibly the first time in my life I’ve been at such a complete loss for what to do that I actually just fell on my knees and prayed. Because that’s what you do when you feel hopeless. I got an answer. And I wish I could string together something funny, light and sarcastic, something to poke fun at misfortune and pine for better days. But I don’t have it in me today.

The only thing I do have is hope, because now I actually understand this verse:

“When I said, ‘My foot is slipping,’ your love, O Lord, supported me.” Psalm 94:18


3 thoughts on “Day 29: Struck down, but not destroyed

  1. Psalm 3:3-6
    But You, O LORD, are a shield for me, My glory and the One who lifts up my head. I cried to the LORD with my voice, And He heard me from His holy hill. I lay down and slept; I awoke, for the LORD sustained me. I will not be afraid of ten thousands of people. Who have set themselves against me all around.

    I hope you are feeling better. I love you.

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